My first position took me to a company where I was responsible for data entry that would be used in employment background checks. Because I had a college degree, I felt I was too good for such work. And because I resented my work, I also resented my supervisor and my coworkers.

Resenting my position was especially dangerous because it tempted me to engage in backbiting, in fighting, gossip, and all kinds of other types of destructive behavior. And because of that destructive behavior, I found that people began to trust me even less, which made me even more resentful.

I had a college degree didn’t I? I was bilingual wasn’t I? I thought I should be in a higher and better paying position, one in which I was deeply respected. I suppose I even thought that everyone should go around thinking about how wonderful I was and worshiping my every move. Eventually I became so resentful of my supervisor, I resigned, but I literally thought about her every day for the next two years in anger and hatred. That is to what extent I allowed my own ego to consume me.

Over the years, I read a lot of literature about personal character and how to build trusting relationships. Books like The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey and How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie caused me to think about my own behavior and how that behavior directly affects how others treat me and what others thought of me.

I started by applying the principles of humility and “Habit 1” which is being proactive. I realized that I have control of my circumstances, that there is always something that I can do to improve my situation. And I realized that I had to apologize to that first supervisor.

So I called her. And I called her. And I left voice mail after voice mail, and it seemed she would never take my call. But finally she called my back. When I asked to have lunch with her, she reminded me that I had not left the company on the best of circumstances. I told her that I knew that, but that I wanted to apologize to her for being a less than adequate employee, and that I wanted to do that in person if she was willing.

When we met, we talked about old times, about my behavior and how she was able to cope with such a difficult employee as myself. And I could tell that she forgave me, and that at the same time, I forgave myself.

As I continue working in the lower ranks of organizations, I have faith that eventually I will move up, but that first I must put in my time being humble and appreciating the amazing advantages I have in any position I work. As I have practiced these principles, I have found that bosses are more likely to ask my opinion and my coworkers are more likely to treat me with respect and appreciate my competence.